When children grieve: Children's books on the subject of death and loss

It is a profoundly tragic event. A child loses a loved one or a beloved pet due to a death. Children have a unique way of dealing with death and loss. They grieve in waves. For example, after a funeral, children might, to the bewilderment of some adults, frolic around and want to play. But then, sudden moments of sorrow may occur. These can happen at various intervals or during specific events when the child remembers the deceased person and misses them.

Be authentic and honest

It is important that adults accompany them through the grieving process, be authentic, answer all questions, and also admit when they don't know something. Transparency is crucial because children often fill in gaps with their imagination in much more dramatic and negative ways than what is usually the reality.

Death is not a taboo subject

Death should not be a taboo topic even before a death occurs. Everyday situations often provide opportunities to talk with children about death.
Even at a young age, when they step on a bug or see a dead bird on the side of the road. There's no need to dwell extensively on the topic, but it is important to explain that death is a part of life and final, and that every living being will eventually die. This is something you can and should address.

Children's book recommendations on dealing with death*

There are some recommended books supporting the grieving process on the topic of death.
(for children aged 3 and up). We have selected what we consider to be the best ones.

Because I miss you so much von Aise Bosse

This book is special because it addresses both children and adults directly. It is straightforward while still retaining the necessary touch of poetry. The book provides further information and resources on the topic. Since many children enjoy music, we think it’s great that a song was specially composed for the book, which can be downloaded for free.

Goodbye little bird von Maja Bach

Although it doesn’t focus too much on the processing of grief, we would still like to recommend this book. It is very suitable as a child-friendly introduction to the topic of death and dying. The book provides a foundation for an honest conversation between adults and children because it attempts to answer many questions that children may have about death. The story is very colorful and lovingly illustrated.

Farewell dear badger von Susan Varley

The book "Goodbye, Dear Badger" addresses how painful loss can be, and how after death, a void is created that cannot be easily filled. Nevertheless, the author manages to maintain a positive and hopeful overall mood. It is a book that is especially suitable for younger children because it has a somewhat fairy-tale quality.

Forever von Kai Lüftner und Katja Gehrmann

We really like this book because it calls things very directly by name. The little protagonist Egon loses his father. Daddy will never come back, and things will never be the same as they were. The range of feelings that Egon experiences and how he must deal with the reactions of those around him – the breadth and honesty are both shocking and authentic.